PRAYERFUL RESPONSE TO LECTIO DIVINA – MARK 10:35-45
“Whoever wants to become great must become a servant.”
The tone of text is not “where you nice to someone when you didn’t have to be” nor is it “did you do your volunteer time at the kid’s school this week?” We are listening to a conversation between people who are going to die for their faith! So, when Jesus says, if you want to be great you must be a servant…we are not talking about a few volunteer hours here and there! We are talking about some serious sacrifice.
I put more than my fair share of volunteer time in but is it enough to consider myself a “servant.” I spend my days interacting with really (really, really) smart people, learning about things I love to learn about, I have a husband that supports me, emotionally and financially, I have kids that are smart and confident, I have books…(and more books)…and all of this can only come if I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and I eat when I am hungry. Doesn’t sound very much like a “servant” to me!
Good thing I am aiming for humble not great!
Because I really don’t want to give that all up. I love my God, I (kind of) have given my life to following this path. (But I didn’t really “give” anything. I love what I have, where I am at, and where I am going. ) This faith walk has never asked me to give my life, not like they talk about it in these verses.
So, this is the question I asked during prayer time: am I a servant?
On the one hand no. We all know that I am no servant. I will not be giving my life for my faith, I will probably never be asked to even seriously consider it. On the other hand, this stuff is hard, challenging. I give up time with my kids and my man; I struggle to keep my stress level to a manageable level; and I face myself…my fears, my joys…all of me. Leaning on “the Bible says it…so I believe it” is not an option. I have to face my fears, question my faith, I spend my life being vulnerable…so I can spend the rest of my life being vulnerable with the people who call me “pastor.”
So no, I am not a servant. But I am willing to keep striving for humble.
O Holy God, thank you for not asking me to give up everything. I want to say I would be your servant…no matter what…but we both know that wouldn’t be very honest. I like my cushy life. Even though this is where I am today, please walk with me again tomorrow and help me become a bit more like the Christ that didn’t want to go…but walked to the cross anyway.