It is reflective of my theological understanding of what Brene Brown teaches in her Ted Talk about shame and vulnerability. There is something about original sin, shame, and the power of vulnerability that connects deeply for me. I wonder if the knowledge of good and evil is the move from “simply being” to the knowledge that we are imperfect. What if the knowledge of good and evil is the knowledge that there is a continuum…the knowledge that some things are better than others? There are people better than us, faster than us…in this world, we may not be good enough, lovable enough…what if the knowledge of good and evil is the fear that we may not be worthy of love and belonging? Which drives us to the question…where am I on the continuum? Is my location good enough? The search for salvation then is the search for the knowledge that we are worthy of love and belonging. We search for this place where we know we are imperfect and we know we are worthy of love…that we belong to someone. Which of course we do, in so many ways God reaches out to us to show us that we may be imperfect but we are worthy of love and belonging.
The last line of the text brought with it an image of people, an unimaginable number of them, wandering away from God. Not really wandering away from God but more specifically wandering away from the Church. Along with the image is the question “why?”
God of all Grace, as I step into my future with you, as I choose again and again, to walk with you, to live my life with you, please help me remember…remind me…that I am here, I am doing this because of Grace. In the days, months, and years ahead help me stay rooted in your Grace.
I see Grace…
I see Grace…in the people I talk to, the people I walk by, the people I hug, the people I live with, the person in the mirror.
I see Grace…everywhere.
But I worry. I worry that one day those people leaving the Church in mass will be my concern and I am afraid that in that moment, I will forget to stay grounded in your Grace. In that moment, I will be the one wandering away from you. Help me love the way you ask me to love and don’t let me forget that I love because you first loved me. I do what I do because I see Grace.